Beer Quotations

“Ah, beer. The cause of and the solution to all of life’s problems.” — Homer Simpson

“I feel sorry for those who don’t drink because when they get up in the morning that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” — Frank Sinatra

“I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.” — Homer Simpson

“Beer is living proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” — Benjamin Franklin (since discredited)

“He was a wise man who invented beer.” — Plato

“The church is near,
but the road is icy.
The bar is far away,
but I will walk carefully.”
— Russian proverb

“Beer Speaks. People Mumble.” — Tony Magee, Lagunitas Brewing

“Drink! for you know not when you came, nor why; Drink! for you know not why you go, nor where.” — Omar Khayyan, The Rubiay’at

“One drink is just right,
two are too many,
three too few”
— Spanish saying

“Here’s to long life and a merry one. A quick death and an easy one. A pretty girl and an honest one. A cold beer — and another one!” — Irish Toast

“You from within our glasses, you lusty golden brew, whoever imbibes takes fire from you. The young and the old sing your praises. Here’s to beer, here’s to cheer, here’s to beer.” — Bedrich Smetana, The Bartered Bride

“Nothing ever tasted better than a cold beer on a beautiful afternoon with nothing to look forward to than more of the same.” — Hugh Hood

“You can’t be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline — it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.” — Frank Zappa

“Do not cease to drink beer, to eat, to intoxicate thyself, to make love, and celebrate the good days.” — Ancient Egyptian saying

“Beer is the center of everything. Everything revolves around beer. When you drink beer, everything revolves. Therefore beer is the center of everything.” — University of Waterloo Engineers

“Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer.” — Dave Barry

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” — Ernest Hemingway

“Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn’t drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, “It is better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver.” — Jack Handy, SNL

“History flows forward in rivers of beer.” — Anonymous

“An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks just as much as you do.” — Dylan Thomas

“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” — Oscar Wilde

“Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.” — Dave Barry

“Blessed is the mother who gives birth to a brewer.” — Czech saying

“Say for what were hopyards meant.
Or why was Burton built on Trent?
Oh many a peer of English Brews
Livelier liquor than the muse,
And malt does more than Milton can
To justify God’s ways to man.
Ale, man, ale’s the stuff to drink
For fellows whom it hurts to think.”
— A.E. Housman

“Wherever beer is brewed, all is well-wherever beer is drunk, life is good.” — Czech proverb

“Fermentation and civilization are inseparable.” — John Ciardi

“Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk,
(I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
and lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever,
Barmen.”
— The Beer Prayer

“Give me a woman who loves beer and I will conquer the world.” — Kaiser Wilhelm

“[I recommend]… bread, meat, vegetables and beer.” — Sophocles (on his philosophy of a moderate diet)

“This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption… Beer!” — Friar Tuck, in the film Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves

“You’re not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” — Dean Martin

“Whoever serves beer or wine watered down, he himself deserves in them to drown.” — Medieval plea for pure libations

“Why is American beer served cold?
So you can tell it from urine.”
— David Moulton

“I drink to make other people interesting.” — George Jean Nathan

“I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer.” — Abraham Lincoln

“They who drink beer will think beer.” — Washington Irving

“If you ever reach total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer shoot out your nose.” — Jack Handy, SNL

“An oppressive government is more to be feared than a tiger, or a beer.” — Confucius

“The roots and herbes beaten and put into new ale or beer and daily drunk, cleareth, strengtheneth and quickeneth the sight of the eyes.” — Nicholas Culpepper

“Oh, lager beer! It makes good cheer, And proves the poor man’s worth; It cools the body through and through, and regulates the health.” — Anonymous

“The best beer is where priests go to drink. For a quart of Ale is a dish for a King.” — William Shakespeare, A Winter’s Tale

“A good local pub has much in common with a church, except that a pub is warmer, and there’s more conversation.” — William Blake

“It is my design to die in the brew-house; let ale be placed to my mouth when I am expiring, that when the choirs of angels come, they may say, ‘Be God propitious to this drinker.’” — Saint Columbanus, 612 C.E.

“From man’s sweat and God’s love, beer came into the world.” — Saint Arnoldus

“God made yeast, as well as dough, and loves fermentation just as dearly as he loves vegetation.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“The Puritanical nonsense of excluding children and therefore to some extent women from pubs has turned these places into mere boozing shops instead of the family gathering places that they ought to be.” — George Orwell

“Beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.” — Henry Lawson

“Wine is but single broth, ale is meat, drink, and cloth.” — English Proverb

“Life, alas, is very drear. Up with the glass! Down with the beer!” — Louis Untermeyer

“Beer that is not drunk had missed its vocation.” — Meyer Breslau

“I would give all my fame for a pot of ale and safety.” — William Shakespeare, Henry V

“Do not cease to drink beer, to eat, to intoxicate thyself, to make love, and to celebrate the good days.” — Ancient Egyptian Credo

“There can’t be good living where there is not good drinking.” — Ben Franklin

“You sit back in the darkness, nursing your beer, breathing in that ineffable aroma of the old-time saloon: dark wood, spilled beer, good cigars, and ancient whiskey — the sacred incense of the drinking man.” — Bruce Aidells

“Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit and promotes health.” — Thomas Jefferson

“Beer does not make itself properly by itself. It takes an element of mystery and of things that no one can understand.” — Fritz Maytag

“There is more to life than beer alone, but beer makes those other things even better.” — Stephen Morris

“Back and side go bare, go bare, both foot and hand go cold; but, belly, God send thee good ale enough, whether it be new or old.” — Bishop John Still

“A little bit of beer is divine medicine.” — Paracelsus, Greek physician

Landlord fill the flowing bowl,
until it doth run over.
For tonight we’ll merry, merry be.
Tomorrow we’re Hungover.
— Old English folk song

Here’s to the man who drinks strong ale,
and goes to bed quite mellow.
Lives as he ought to live,
and dies a jolly good fellow.
— Old English folk song

“The mouth of perfectly happy man is filled with beer.” — Egyptian proverb

“Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer.” — Frederick the Great

“Beer … a high and mighty liquor.” — Julius Caeser

“A meal of bread, cheese and beer constitutes the perfect food.” — Queen Elizabeth I

“He that drinketh strong beer and goes to bed right mellow, lives as he ought to live and dies a hearty fellow.” — Anonymous

“Tis hard to tell which is best: music, food, beer or rest.” — Anonymous

“It’s a fair wind that blew men to ale.” — Washington Irving

“The culture of the hop … so analagous to the culture and uses of the grape, may afford a theme for future poets.” — Henry David Thoreau

“God made yeast, as well as dough, and loves fermentation just as dearly as he loves vegetation.” — Ralph Waldo Emerson

“Did you ever taste beer?”
“I had a sip of it once.,” said the servant.
“Here’s a state of things!”! cried Mr. Swiveller ….
“She never tasted it — it can’t be tasted in a sip!
— Charles Dickens

“It takes beer to make a thirst worthwhile.” — German saying

“Beer is an improvement on water itself.” — Grant Johnson

“A fine beer may be judged with only one sip, but it’s better to be thoroughly sure.” — Bohemian proverb

“Here’s to the heart that fills as the bottle empties.” — Anonymous

“Drunkenness does not create vice; it merely brings it into view.” — Seneca

“The sway of alcohol over mankind is unquestionably due to its power to stimulate the mystical faculties of human nature, usually crushed to earth by the cold facts and dry criticisms of the sober hour.” — William James

“I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.” — Joe E. Lewis

“As to the way of life of the English, they are somewhat impolite, for they belch at the table without shame. They consume great quantities of beer.” — Father Etienne Perlin, 1558

“The good Lord has changed water into wine, so how can drinking beer be a sin?” — Sign near a Belgian Monastery

“Religions change, but beer and wine remain.” — Harvey Allen

“Here with my beer I sit, while golden moments flit: alas! They pass unheeded by: and as they fly, I, being dry, sit idly sipping here, my beer.” — George Arnold

“But leave me to my beer! Gold is dross, love is loss, so if I gulp my sorrows down, or see them drown in foamy draughts of old nut-brown, then I do wear the crown, without the cross!” — George Arnold

“I have a total irreverence for anything connected with society except that which makes the roads safer, the beer stronger, the food cheaper and the old men and old women warmer in the winter and happier in the summer.” — Brendan Behan

“Some people wanted champagne and caviar when they should have had beer and hot dogs.” — Dwight D. Eisenhower

“In a study, scientists report that drinking beer can be good for the liver. I’m sorry, did I say ‘scientists’? I meant Irish people.’” — Tina Fey

“Oh I have been to Ludlow fair, and left my necktie God knows where. And carried half way home, or near, pints and quarts of Ludlow beer.” — Alfred Edward Housman

“I work until beer o’clock.” — Stephen King

“I am very picky about my people and my beer.” — Shelby Lynne

“Beer, it’s the best damn drink in the world.” — Jack Nicholson

“In my opinion, most of the great men of the past were only there for the beer – the wealth, prestige and grandeur that went with the power.” — A.J.P. Taylor

“For drink, there was beer which was very strong when not mingled with water, but was agreeable to those who were used to it. They drank this with a reed, out of the vessel that held the beer, upon which they saw the barley swim.” — Xenophon, 430-357 BCE

“Or merry swains, who quaff the nut-brown ale, and sing enamoured of the nut-brown maid.” — James Beattie

“I have fed purely upon ale; I have eat my ale, drank my ale, and I always sleep upon ale.” — George Farquhar

“The troubles of our proud and angry dust are from eternity, and shall not fail. Bear them we can, and if we can we must. Shoulder the sky, my lad, and drink your ale. ” — A.E. Housman, A Shropshire Lad, 1896

“When the pilgrims, seeking religious freedom, landed at Plymouth rock, the first permanent building put up was the brewery.” — Jim West

“A man can hide all things, excepting twain — That he is drunk, and that he is in love.” — Antiphanes, 408-344 BCE

“The best audience is intelligent, well-educated and a little drunk.” — Alben W. Barkley

“To get enough to eat was regarded as an achievement. To get drunk was a victory.” — Brendan Behan

“I think a man ought to get drunk at least twice a year just on principle, so he won’t let himself get snotty about it.” — Raymond Chandler

“I prefer to think that God is not dead, just drunk.” — John Huston

“The difference between a drunk and a alcoholic is that a drunk doesn’t have to attend all those meetings.” — Arthur Lewis

“The worst thing about some men is that when they are not drunk they are sober.” — William Butler Yeats

“Drinking when we are not thirsty and making love at all seasons, madam: that is all there is to distinguish us from other animals.” — Pierre de Beaumarchais

“Who-ever makes a poor beer is tranferred to the dung hill.” — City of Danzig edict, 11th Century

“The tavern will compare favorably with the church.” — Henry David Thoreau

“Ideally, brewers interpret history, and through science they create art.” — Don Spencer, Silver City Brewery
“There’s damsels in distress out there, and we got all this beer.” — Jimmy Buffett

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. ” — Henny Youngman

“Life isn’t all beer and skittles, but beer and skittles, or something better of the same sort, must form a good part of every Englishman’s education.” — Thomas Hughes, Tom Browne’s Schooldays, 1857

“Boughs have their fruit and blossom
At all times of the year;
Rivers are running over
With red beer and brown beer.”
— William Butler Yeats

“Prohibition makes you want to cry into your beer and denies you the beer to cry into” — Don Marquis, Certain Maxims of Archy

“I’ve only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror.” — Sid Vicious

“What two ideas are more inseparable than beer and Britannia?” —Sydney Smith, British clergyman, 1934

“Demagogue — a vessel containing beer and other liquids.” — Mark Twain, Girls, 1910

“Doth it not show vilely in me to desire small beer?” — William Shakespeare, Henry IV, Pt 2

“God has a brown voice, as soft and full as beer.” — Anne Sexton

“We have to recognise, that the gin-palace, like many other evils, although a poisonous, is still a natural outgrowth of our social conditions. The tap-room in many cases is the poor man’s only parlour. Many a man takes to beer, not from the love of beer, but from a natural craving for the light, warmth, company, and comfort which is thrown in along with the beer, and which he cannot get excepting by buying beer. Reformers will never get rid of the drink shop until they can outbid it in the subsidiary attractions which it offers to its customers.” — William Booth, Salvation Army, 1890

“Beer, tobacco, and music,” he went on. “Behold the Fatherland.” — Thomas Mann, The Magic Mountain, 1924

“In my opinion, most of the great men of the past were only there for the beer—the wealth, prestige and grandeur that went with the power.” — A.J.P. Taylor, British historian, 1984

“One of the few moments of happiness a man knows in Australia is that moment of meeting the eyes of another man over the tops of two beer glasses.” — Anonymous

“If I asked her master he’d give me a cask a day;
But she, with the beer at hand, not a gill would arrange!
May she marry a ghost and bear him a kitten, and may
The High King of Glory permit her to get the mange.”
— James Kenneth Stephens, A Glass of Beer

“The lanky hank of a she in the inn over there
Nearly killed me for asking the loan of a glass of beer;
May the devil grip the whey-faced slut by the hair
And beat bad manners out of her skin for a year.
— James Kenneth Stephens, A Glass of Beer

“Under the pressure of the cares and sorrows of our mortal condition, men have at all times, and in all countries, called in some physical aid to their moral consolations—wine, beer, opium, brandy, or tobacco.” — Edmund Burke

“A statesman is an easy man,
He tells his lies by rote;
A journalist makes up his lies
And takes you by the throat;
So stay at home and drink your beer
And let the neighbours vote.”
— William Butler Yeats

“Instead of water we got here a draught of beer,… a lumberer’s drink, which would acclimate and naturalize a man at once,—which would make him see green, and, if he slept, dream that he heard the wind sough among the pines.” — Henry David Thoreau

“Time grows dim. Time that was so long grows short, time, all goggle-eyed, wiggling her skirts, singing her torch song, giving the boys a buzz and a ride, that Nazi Mama with her beer and sauerkraut. Time, old gal of mine, will soon dim out.” — Anne Sexton

“When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
So, let’s all get drunk, and go to heaven!”
— Irish Toast

“Here’s to a long life and a merry one.
A quick death and an easy one.
A pretty girl and an honest one.
A cold beer—and another one!”
— Irish Toast

“For every wound, a balm.
For every sorrow, cheer.
For every storm, a calm.
For every thirst, a beer.”
— Irish Toast

“You guys came by to have some fun. You’ll come and stay all night, I fear. But I know how to make you run. I’ll serve you all generic beer.” — Irish Toast

“I’ve never been into wine. I’m a beer man. What I like about beer is you basically just drink it and order more. You don’t sniff at it, or hold it up to the light and slosh it around, or drone on and on about it, the way people do with wine. Your beer drinker tend to be a straightforward, decent, friendly, down-to-earth person, whereas your serious wine fancier tends to be an insufferable snot.” — Dave Barry

“I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate a major event such as the fall of Communism or the fact that the refrigerator is still working.” — Dave Barry

“It was as natural as eating and to me as necessary, and I would not have thought of eating a meal without drinking beer.” — Ernest Hemingway

“Most people hate the taste of beer – to begin with. It is, however, a prejudice.” — Winston Churchill

“In Vino Veritas, In Cervesio Felicitas (In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is joy)” — Anonymous

“Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.” — Anonymous

“Beer is the reason I get up every afternoon.” — Anonymous

“Adhere to the Schweinheitsgebot. Don’t put anything in your beer that a pig wouldn’t eat.” — David Geary

“One more drink and I’d be under the host.” — Dorothy Parker

“People who drink “light” beer don’t like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.” — Sign at Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI

“Beer drinkin’ don’t do half the harm of love makin’.” — Old New England proverb

“Pure water is the best gifts a man can bring.
But who am I that I should have the best of anything?
Let princes revel at the pump, let peers with ponds make free,
…beer is good enough for me.”
— Lord Neaves

“Real ale fans are just like train-spotters, only drunk.” — Christopher Howse

“There can’t be good living where there is not good drinking.” — Benjamin Franklin

“I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.” — Miguel de Cervantes

“The first draught serveth for health, the second for pleasure, the third for shame, the fourth for madness.” — Sir Walter Raleigh

“Man, being reasonable, must get drunk; the best of life is but intoxication.” — Lord Byron

“Beer isn’t just beer… beer needs a home.” — Die Welt, German newspaper, 1976

“Light beer is an invention of the Prince of Darkness.” — Inspector Morse (BBC)

“The selling of bad beer is a crime against Christian love.” — City of Ausburg Law, 13th century

“Beer brewers shall sell no beer to the citizens, unless it be three weeks old; to the foreigner they may knowingly sell younger beer.” — German beer law, 1466

“There is an ancient Celtic axiom that says ‘Good people drink good beer.’ Which is true, then as now. Just look around you in any public barroom and you will quickly see: Bad people drink bad beer. Think about it.” — Hunter S. Thompson

“Abstainer: A weak person who yields to the temptation of denying himself a pleasure.” — Ambrose Bierce

“Praise not the day until evening has come; a woman until she is burnt; a sword until it is tried; a maiden until she is married; ice until it has been crossed; beer until it has been drunk. ” — Viking proverb

“The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind.” — Humphrey Bogart

“Man’s way to God is with beer in hand.” — Koffyar Tribal Wisdom, Nigeria

“Drink is the feast of reason and the flow of soul. ” — Alexander Pope

“I’ve always believed that paradise will have my favorite beer on tap. ” — Rudyard Wheatley

“Here’s a toast to the roast that good fellowship lends, with the sparkle of beer and wine; May its sentiment always be deeper, my friends, than the foam at the top of the stein. Then here’s to the heartening wassail, wherever good fellows are found; Be its master instead of its vassal, and order the glasses around.” — Ogden Nash

“The mouth of a perfectly happy man is filled with beer.” — Ancient Egyptian saying

“For we could not now take time for further search (to land our ship) our victuals being much spent, especially our Beere.” — Ship’s log of the Mayflower

“A drink a day, keeps the shrink away.” — Edward Abbey

“Things don’t make me nearly as happy as talking and having a beer with my friends. And that’s something everyone can do. ” — Drew Carey

“Ale it is called among men, and among gods, beer.” — Old Norse Alvisimal 1st known mention of “ale”, 950 CE

“He that drinks strong beer, and goes to bed mellow, lives as he ought to live, and dies a hearty fellow.” — English drinking song, 17th Century

“As he brews so shall he drink.” — Ben Johnson

“I wish to see this beverage become common instead of the whiskey which kills one-third of our citizens and ruins their families. ” — Thomas Jefferson

“The best place to drink beer is at home. Or on a river bank, if the fish don’t bother you. ” — American folk saying

“When I die, I want to decompose in a barrel of porter and have it served in all the pubs in Dublin. I wonder would they know it was me? ”

— J.P. Donleavy
The Ginger Man
“As to the way of life of the English, they are somewhat impolite, for they belch at the table without shame. They consume great quantities of beer.” — Father Etienne Perlin, 1558

“O Beer! O Hodgson, Guinness, Allsopp, Bass! Names that should be on every infant’s tongue.” — C.V. Calverly

“Beer that is not drunk has missed its vocation. Meyer Breslau Beer once tasted like something. It was made out of malt and hops and yeast and pure filtered water… Nowadays it is often made of such gook as rice and corn grits… nothing but dirty water. It’s so light and clear it’s nothing…ignoble swill.” — Charles McCabe, 1960

“Drinking will make a man quaff,
Quaffing will make a man sing,
Singing will make a man laugh,
And laughing long life doth bring,
Says old Simon the King.”
— Anonymous, circa 1621

“Or merry swains, who quaff the nut-brown ale,
And sing enamour’d of the nut-brown maid.”
— James Beattie, The Minstrel

“People who don’t drink are afraid of revealing themselves.” — Humphrey Bogart

“Drinking is a way of ending the day.” — Ernest Hemingway

“I’ve made it a rule never to drink by daylight and never to refuse a drink after dark.” — H.L. Mencken

“One sip of this
Will bathe the drooping spirits in delight,
Beyond the bliss of dreams.”
— John Milton

“For drink, there was beer which was very strong when not mingled with water, but was agreeable to those who were used to it. They drank this with a reed, out of the vessel that held the beer, upon which they saw the barley swim.” — Xenophon, Anabasis

“I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the day he killed himself.” — Johnny Carson

“Drinking when we are not thirsty and making love at all seasons, madam: that is all there is to distinguish us from other animals. ” — Pierre de Beaumarchais

“I am awake, I might as well be drinking.” — Dan Thompson

“Of beer, an enthusiast has said that it could never be bad, but that some brands might be better than others.” — A.A. Milne

“This is all thousands of years old. It’s the same the world over. Anyone who has ever walked upright has loved beer, celebrated over it, told talks over it, hatched plots over it, courted over it. It’s what we do as a species. It’s what makes us human. We brew.” — Alan Eames

“The moralizing tendency and salubrious nature of fermented liquors — beer, ale, porter, and cider — recommend them to a serious consideration and particularly in our country.” — Alexander Hamilton

“There are only two times when I drink beer, when I’m alone and when I’m with someone else.” — Anonymous

“Milk is for babies. When you grow up you have to drink beer.” — Arnold Schwarzenegger

“Ahhhhhhhh!!! Natural light!!! Get it off me!!!” — Barney Gumbal, The Simpsons

“We are here to drink beer. We are here to kill war. We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.” — Charles Bukowski

“After watching Conan O’Brien’s sophomoric behavior while interviewing Michael Jackson on his show this week, I have come to the conclusion that you can judge the level of a man’s intellect simply by saying the word “beer” and watching his reaction.” — Chuck Skypeck

“When the hour is nigh me,
Let me in a tavern die,
With a tankard by me.”
— Confesio, 12th Century

“You can only drink 30 or 40 glasses of beer a day, no matter how rich you are.” — Adolphus Busch

“Let no man thirst for lack of Real Ale.” — Commonwealth Brewing, Boston, Mass.

“Fermentation may have been a greater discovery than fire.” — David Rains Wallace

“Six pints of bitter,’ said Ford Prefect…. ‘And quickly please, the world’s about to end.’” — Douglas Adams, Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“It is disgusting to notice the increase in the quantity of coffee used by my subjects, and the amount of money that goes out of the country as a consequence. Everybody is using coffee; this must be prevented. His Majesty was brought up on beer, and so were both his ancestors and officers. Many battles have been fought and won by soldiers nourished on beer, and the King does not believe that coffee-drinking soldiers can be relied upon to endure hardships in case of another war.” — Frederick the Great of Prussia, 1777

“We brewers don’t make beer, we just get all the ingredients together and the beer makes itself.” — Fritz Maytag

“It’s very hard to get pretentious about beer. You can become knowledgeable and start to talk with a highfalutin’ vocabulary. But you can only go so far with beer, and I’ve always liked that.” — Fritz Maytag

“He is not deserving the name of Englishman who speaketh against ale, that is, good ale.” — George Borrow

“Lo! the poor topper whose untutored sense,
Sees bliss in ale, and can with wine dispense;
Whose head proud fancy never taught to steer,
Beyond the muddy ecstasies of beer.”
— George Crabbe

“. . . it seemed to me that man himself was like a half-emptied bottle of pale ale, which Time had drunk so far, yet stoppled tight for a while, and drifting about in the ocean of circumstances, but destined ere-long to mingle with the surrounding waves, or be spilled amid the sands of a distant shore.” — Henry David Thoreau, Cape Cod, 1855-65

“Keep your libraries, your penal institutions, your insane asylums…give me beer. You think man needs rule, he needs beer. The world does not need morals, it needs beer… The souls of men have been fed with indigestibles, but the soul could make use of beer.” — Henry Miller

“There is nothing in the world like the first taste of beer.” — John Steinbeck

“Beer…the mother of all of us.” — John Shepard

“Beer, of course, is actually a depressant, but poor people will never stop hoping otherwise.” — Kurt Vonnegut, Jr.

“If God had wanted us to filter our beer, he wouldn’t have given us livers” — Larry Bell

“While beer brings gladness, don’t forget
That water only makes you wet.”
— Larry Leon Wilson, The Spenders

“Here’s to life and a merry one, a quick death and a pretty one, a pretty girl and a true one, a cold beer and another one.” — Lewis C. Henry

“The wise son brings joy to his father, but the wiser son brings beer.” — Mad Mordigan

“Well, I never met a beer I didn’t drink. And down it goes.” — Norm Peterson, Cheers

“Terrorists, Sam. They’ve taken over my stomach. They’re demanding beer.” — Norm Peterson, Cheers

l have a froth of beer and a snorkel.” — Norm Peterson, Cheers

“Well, I am going to need something to kill time before my second beer. Uhhh, how about a first one?” — Norm Peterson, Cheers

“When the beer bubbles, the masses forget their troubles.” — The Peoples Daily, China

“When the bee comes to your house, let her have beer; you may want to visit the bee’s house some day.” — Congoese proverb

“It takes Beer to make thirst worthwhile.” — German proverb

“Ale sellers should not be taletellers.” — Scottish proverb

“Listening to someone who brews his own beer is like listening to a religious fanatic talk about the day he saw the light.” — Ross Murray, Montreal Gazette, 1991

“Let no man thirst for good beer.” — Samuel Adams

“It is not “just beer,” it is a noble and ancient beverage which, like wine, food and television advertising, can be extraordinarily good or unmercifully bad.” — Stephen Beaumont

“Beer isn’t just beer….beer needs a home.” — Stephen Beaumont

“24 beers in a case. 24 hours in a day. Coincidence?” — Steven Wright

“Beer soothes the upset soul.” — Thomas Mann

“A full beer is a perfect beer.” — Tim Russman

“But if at church they would give some ale
And a pleasant fire our souls to regale.
Wed sing and wed pray all the livelong day,
Nor ever once from the church to stray.”
— William Blake

“…there is only one game at the heart of America and that is baseball, and only one beverage to be found sloshing at the depths of our national soul and that is beer.” — Peter Richmond

“Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working.” — Howard Rudolph

“I never met a pub I didn’t like.” — Pete Slosberg

“Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all of the time and have the time of your life.” — Anonymous

“Life is too short to drink cheap beer.” — Rene Deschutes

“I drink, therefore, I am.” — Anonymous

“…Actually, I’m a drinker with writing problems.” — Brendan Behan

“Life begins at 60 — 1.060, that is.” — Denny Conn

“Beer is a wholesome liquor….it abounds with nourishment.” — Dr. Benjamin Rush

“You’re all wanking sissies if you even think about using a grain mill, teeth, or ball-peen hammer. A real brewer uses 17 vestal virgins stomping on the grain in a large wooden vat. And yeast is for losers. True brewers just dip one end of their dog into the wort to get things going.” — Drew Avis

“If my mother was tied up and held for ransom, I might think about making a light beer.” — Greg Koch, Stone Brewing

“Why do I drink? So that I can write poetry.” — Jim Morrison

“Women and drink. Too much of either can drive you to the other.” — Michael Still

“Beer has long been the prime lubricant in our social intercourse and the sacred throat-anointing fluid that accompanies the ritual of mateship. To sink a few cold ones with the blokes is both an escape and a confirmation of belonging.” — Rennie Ellis

“No, sir: There is nothing which has yet been contrived by man by which so much happiness is produced as by a good tavern or inn.” — Samuel Johnson

“I don’t have a drinking problem, except when I can’t find a drink.” — Tom Waits

“We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is the milk of the old.” — Martin Luther

“Who does not love beer, wine, women and song remains a fool his whole life long.” — Carl Worner

“Wine gentrifies, beer unifies.” — W. Scott Griffith

“Beer will always have a definite role in the diet of an individual and can be considered a cog in the wheel of nutritional foods.” — Bruce Carlton

“Beer is the fountain of happiness.” — Anonymous

“I don’t have a drinking problem so much as I have a drinking solution.” — Anonymous

“A pleasant aperitif, as well as a good chaser for a short quick whiskey, as well again for a fine supper drink, is beer.” — M.F.K. Fisher

“Because beer is food: in cooking, at the table, and by the glass …” — Lucy Saunders

“Payday came and with it beer.” — Rudyard Kipling

“In the barley where thou sleepest there hides nectar clear, Which men shall know in later times as porter, ale or beer.” — Anonymous

“Bad people drink bad beer. You almost never see an empty bottle of Rochefort tossed onto the side of the road.” — Dave Cooks

“Make sure that the beer — four pints a week — goes to the troops under fire before any of the parties in the rear get a drop.” — Winston Churchill

“I wish you a Malty Christmas
And a Hoppy New Year,
A pocket full of money
And a cellar full of Beer!”
— Anonymous Toast

“Not everybody is strong enough to endure life without an anesthetic. Drink probably averts more gross crime than it causes.” — George Bernard Shaw

“We’re in different businesses (than big brewers). We both make something called beer, but they don’t really taste much alike. The big brewers are of a completely different mindset. A-B has more in common with Coca-Cola than they do with us. That’s not to say their beer is bad. It’s just different from what we make. If you look at their advertising you see they are trying to sell lifestyle.” — Brock Wagner, St. Arnold Brewing founder

“Oatcakes are a delicate relish when eaten warm with ale.” — Robert Burns

“Mankind: The animal that fears the future and desires fermented beverages.” — Anthelme Brillat-Savarin, 1755-1826

“I believe, if we take habitual drunkards as a class, their heads and their hearts will bear an advantageous comparison with those of any other class. There seems ever to have been a proneness in the brilliant and warm-blooded to fall into this vice.” — Abraham Lincoln, 1842

“No verse can give pleasure for long, nor last, that is written by water-drinkers.” — Horace

“I know Bacchus, the god of wine, for he smells of nectar; but all I know of the god of beer is that he smells of the billy goat.” — Emperor Julian the Apostate, 361 CE

“Stick thirteen black-headed pins into the cork of the bottle that gave you the hangover.” — Haitian Voodoo Curse

“I have often regretted what I have eaten, but never what I have drunk.” — Otto Von Bismark

“Let a neat housewife … have the handling of good ingredients — sweet malt and good water — and you shall see and will say there is an art in brewing.” — Dr. Cyril Folkingham, 1623

“A tavern chair is the throne of human felicity.” — Samuel Johnson

“Pilsners should be refreshing and invigorating all the time, whether you’ve just played nine innings in the sun or are simply watching the game.” — Eric Asimov

“Up to age forty, eating is beneficial; after forty, drinking.” — The Talmud

“For our food, I slaughtered sheep and oxen, day by day; with beer, oil and water, I filled large jugs.” — Atrahasis, Sumerian Folk Hero

“We drink all we can. The rest we sell.” — Utica Club Brewery, 1965

“I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without drinking.” — Joe E. Lewis

“Kitchens in Milwaukee are built with three taps — marked hot, cold and Schlitz.” — Old Milwaukee saying

“America’s craft brewers know that beer, not wine, is the best beverage for accompanying a good meal.” — Nancy Johnson

“Any foreign trip is better if you can visit a few breweries.” — Fred Eckhardt

“A man hath no better thing under the sun than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry.” — The Bible, Ecclesiastes 3:13

“Beer is a gift from the goddesses, a soothing balm given our species to bring joy and comfort in compensation for the curse of self-awareness, the awful realization of our mortality.” — Alan Eames

“Brehm asserts that the natives of Northeastern Africa catch the wild baboons by exposing vessels with strong beer, by which they are made drunk….. On the following morning … they held their aching heads with both hands.” — Charles Darwin, Origin of Species, 1859

“I rose politely in the club
And said, I feel a little bored.
Will someone take me to a pub?”
— G.K. Chesterton, A Ballade of An Anti-Puritan, 1915

“Hops, turkies, carp, and beer
Came into England all in one year.”
— Old English Proverb

“Called ale among men; but by the gods called beer.” — The Alvismát

“In eating, a third of the stomach should be filled with food, a third with drink, and the rest left empty.” — The Talmud

“… in life, there’s always room for beer.” — Tom Ciccateri

“Beer was not made to be moralized about, but to be drunk.” — Theodore Maynard

“Most chefs don’t drink wine at the end of the night; it’s too heavy. They drink beer.” — Wendy Littlefield

“I’m going to drink beer. Beer tastes like champagne after a win like tonight” — George Karl, Denver Nuggets coach

“A number of herbs having been worked up in clean ale, the patient was to sing seven masses over the worts, then to add garlic and holy water, and was drink the mixture out of a church bell.” — Ancient recipe for casting out devils

“I wish we could all have good luck, all the time! I wish we had wings! I wish rainwater was beer.” — Robert Bolt, A Man For All Seasons, 1960

“The [English] pub has always been much more than just a tavern—it is a clubhouse, a meeting place, a community center.” — Anthony Dias Blue

“Some malt the Indian corne, others barley, of which they make good Ale, both strong and small, and such plenty thereof few of the upper Planters drinke any water.” — John Smith, Jamestown, Va., 1625

“Not drunk is he who from the floor
Can rise again and drink some more;
But drunk is he who prostrate lies,
And who can neither drink nor rise.”
— Eugene Field

“Thirsty days hath September,
April, June, and November;
All the rest are thirsty too
Except for him who hath home brew.”
— Anonymous

“I feel no pain dear mother now,
But Oh I am so dry.
O take me to a brewery
And leave me there to die.”
— Anonymous

“Leave the flurry
To the masses;
Take your time
And shine your glasses.”
— Old Shaker saying

“Good ale and good beer are drinks of temperate men, and it must be confessed that England has bred a race of mighty fighting men on her national brew. Good beer is the basis of true temperance.” — Daily Express, January 25, 1919

“Drinking will make a man quaff,
Quaffing will make a man sing,
Singing will make a man laugh,
And laughing long life doth bring.”
— Thomas D’Urfey

“Said Aristotle unto Plato,
‘Have another sweet potato?’
Said Plato unto Aristotle,
‘Thank you, I prefer the bottle.’”
— Owen Wister

“Be one who drinks the finest of ales every day without fail. Even when you have drank enough, remember that ale is wonderful stuff.” — Anonymous

“If barley be wanted to make into malt
We must be content and think it no fault.
For we can make liquor to sweeten our lips
Of pumpkins and parsnips and walnut tree chips.”
— 17th Century Song

“For fear that one drink will be lonesome, take another to keep it company, and another to keep peace between them.” — Anonymous

“Beer has long been the prime lubricant in our social intercourse and the sacred throat-anointing fluid that accompanies the ritual of mateship.” — Rennie Ellis

“When things go wrong and will not come right,
Though you do the best you can,
When life looks black as the hour of night—
A pint of plain is your only man.”
— Flann O’Brien

“Bless, O Lord, this creature beer, that Thou hast been pleased to bring forth from the sweetness of the grain: that it might be a salutary remedy for the human race: and grant by the invocation of Thy holy name, that, whosoever drinks of it may obtain health of body and a sure safeguard for the soul.” — Blessing of the Beer, Rituale Romanum (no. 58)

“We old folks have to find our cushions and pillows in our tankards. Strong beer is the milk of the old.” — Martin Luther

“Be of good cheer, drink only great beer.” — Jay Brooks

“Beer is a health food.” — George F. Will

“For secular people who favor a wall of separation between church and tavern, beer is evidence that nature wants us to be.” — George F. Will

“I have seen the love stars shining
Through bronze hair across my face.
I have seen white bosoms heaving
Though a wisp of open lace;
But one sight is dear to memory,
And it seemeth brighter far—
Just a guttered candles flicker
On a tankard on a bar. ”
— John Barr

“Who does not know beer, does not know what is good. Beer makes the home pleasant.” — Sumerian proverb

“I have no pain, dear mother, now, but oh! I am so dry. Connect me to a brewery. And leave me there to die.” — parody of Edward Farmer, The Collier’s Dying Child, 1870

“When the bee comes to your house, let her have beer; you may want to visit the bee’s house some day.” — Congolese Proverb

“Beer … because none of the world’s problems were ever solved with white wine.” — Karl Wichmann

“Brewers enjoy working to make beer as much as drinking beer instead of working.” — Harold Rudolph

“Alcohol is good for you. My grandfather proved it irrevocably. He drank two quarts of booze every mature day of his life and lived to the age of 103. I was at the cremation – that fire would not go out.” — Dave Astor

“I am sure of this, that if everybody was to drink their bottle a day, there would be not half the disorders in the world there are now. It would be a famous good thing for us all.” — Jane Austen

“Way down south they had a jubilee,
Them Georgia folks, they had a jamboree.
They were drinking homebrew from a wooden tub,
The folks that were dancin’ there got all shook up.”
— Chuck Berry

“If you can make oatmeal cookies at home, you can brew beer.” — Bob Carbone

“The brewery is the best drug store.” — German proverb

“My people must drink beer.” — Frederick the Great of Prussia, 1777

“One of the hallmarks of the baby boomer generation is that it doesn’t live like the previous generation. It hasn’t yet given up jeans and T-shirts or beer.” — Ron Klugman; Sr. V-P, Coors Brewing

“No soldier can fight unless he is properly fed on beef and beer.” — John Churchill, First Duke of Marlborough

“It is my aim to win the American people over to our side, to make them all lovers of beer.” — Adolphus Busch

“Everybody has to believe in something … I believe I’ll have another beer.” — W.C. Fields

“Beer that is not drunk has missed its vocation.” — Meyer Breslau

“Together we can stop the spread of lite beer” — On a T-shirt from Half Pints Brewing, Canada

“You can’t drink all day if you don’t start in the morning.” — Ray Daniels

“Pretty women make us BUY beer. Ugly women make us DRINK beer.” — Al Bundy

“The brewery is the best drugstore” — Old German folk wisdom

“American beer, just like its people, is an extreme melting pot of creativity, tradition, capitalism and an unnerving sense of complete disregard for reality. I don’t think I’d have it any other way.” — Tom Goodwin

“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.” — George Bernard Shaw

“I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they’ve always worked for me.” — Hunter S. Thompson

“Good ale, the true and proper drink of Englishmen. He is not deserving of the name of Englishman who speaketh against ale, that is good ale.” — George Borrow, 1851, Lavengro

“They’re drinkin’ homebrew from a wooden cup, The folks were dancin’ there got all shook up.” — Chuck Berry, Rock ‘n’ Roll Music

“Let’s all work to get people to drink more good beer, so if someone walks into your office and says he drinks Corona, don’t immediately call him a dickhead.” — Michael Jackson

“The Baker says, ‘I’ve the staff of life and you’re a silly elf.’ The Brewer replied, with artful pride, ‘Why this is life itself.’” — 13th Century Anonymous